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Here is the desire of my heart I couldn't express

No exact words would fit to say what it feels 

I could not speak, it is hard for me to utter things 

But indeed there are lots in my heart I could able to share I wish to cry in pain, 

I wish to express my loneliness, my perplexed sense has a lot of astonishment. 

Thinking the answer could just be found in the other field. 

Assuming there is so much lacking in me that needs to be filled

The joy I looked for is just around but was just taken for granted. 

I had only realized it when I was far from all my beloved 
I realized why I need to search for the joy that I am full of it. 
The discontentment of my soul confused me to treasure it.   
On the other side of my world, I thought I could be complete. 
God forgive me, I need to understand Your fullness and depth. 
Give me the wisdom to see that I am one of the blessed ones. 
Teach me more to trust the perfectness of Your plans
I understand that You are Mighty, perfect, and omnipotent. 
You want me to rely on everything on You every moment. 
You taught me well how to cultivate and be capable of my own 
Yet I don’t have to rely on my strength but rely on Yours alone.  
Guide me then on how to farm in patience keeping my faith 
Shower me now on the abundance of crops that I cultivated 
I promise to be a good farmer in Your provided plantation. 
Where I need to plow, plant, and make an incredible harvest soon

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